NATALIE

SCENE 1 – NEW

8/20/04

 

1     INT MONK’S APARTMENT – DAY                                    1

 

      Monk turns. The WASTE BASKET  IS SMOKING!! It’s on FIRE!

 

                              MONK

                        Hey! Hey! Fire!

 

There’s a FIRE EXTINGUISHER on the wall on the wall.  Monk panics! He takes it down and carries it to the waste basket.

 

Then he stops,and reads the label on the extinguisher.

 

 

2              CLOSE UP- FIRE EXTINGUISHER LABEL                           2

 

It says: STAND 8 FEET FROM THE FLAME.                           *

 

 

3              RESUME- SCENE                                               3

 

SMOKE is filling the room! A SMOKE ALARM starts WAILING. BEEEEEEEP!

 

                        MONK

                  (reading label)

            “Stand 8 feet from flame…”                          *

 

Monk starts to pace out the distance from the wastebasket!      *

 

                        MONK (cont’d)

            Eight feet.  Five, six… seven…                      *

 

During this, the front door opens. Natalie enters.

 

                        NATALIE

            Hello…?

 

Natalie sees the crisis in progress: The flames! The smoke! And Adrian Monk, carefully measuring the floor.

 

                        NATALIE (cont’d)

            Are you okay?

                  (then)

            What are you doing?!

 

                        MONK                                    *

            Measuring.  It says eight feet.                     *

            Stay back.

 

                        NATALIE

            They mean approximately.

 

 

                                                (continued)   1/3


                        MONK-CASTING SCENE 2 – 8/20/04   2.

 

4              CONTINUED:

 

MONK

It doesn’t say approximately.

 

                  NATALIE

Oh, for Gods sake. Give me that!                    *

 

Natalie takes charge! She’s fearless! She grabs the FIRE EXTINGUISHER and SPRAYS the waste basket.

 

                        MONK

                  (panicking, pointing!)

No! No! YOU’RE TOO CLOSE! READ THE LABEL! READ THE LABEL!

 

            NATALIE

Just stand over there.  Stand back!                 *

 

Natalie easily puts out the fire.  Then she CLICKS OFF the smoke alarm.

 

It’s over. A beat. They both collect themselves.

 

                        MONK

            Are you okay?  We did it.                           *

                  (embarrassed)

I’m going to write them a letter.
It should say “approximately.”  We                  *
could’ve been killed.

 

            NATALIE

Are you Monk?

 

Monk nods.

 

                        NATALIE (cont’d)

            Adrian Monk? The detective?

                  (skeptically)

            The admired, respected detective?

 

                        MONK

If you still want the job, we can
talk in the living room.

 

            NATALIE

What job?

 

            MONK

Aren’t you here from the agency?

 

            NATALIE

No, I came here to hire you. I’m
Natalie Teeger.

            (MORE)

 

                                    (CONTINUED)   2/3

                             MONK-CASTING SCENE 2 – 8/20/04   3.

 

3        CONTINUED: (2)                                              3

 

NATALIE (CONT’D)

Captain Stottlemeyer said you might be
able to help me.  He said you were the
best cop he ever met.  I guess he’s
never seen you put out a fire.

 

            MONK

I’m sorry.  I’m not taking any work
right now.

      (somberly)

I recently lost a dear friend.

 

            NATALIE

Oh. I’m sorry.  Who died?

 

            MONK

No one died. My nurse is out of
town.  Her mother is sick.

 

            NATALIE

The Captain said you might change
your mind.  I can pay you.  I’m not
rich, but I’ll borrow if I have to…                 *

 

            MONK

I’m sorry. I can’t.

 

            NATALIE

 

     (pleading, eyes tearing)

Detective Monk.  There was a man.                   *
In my house last night.  I killed
him.

 

That gets Monk’s attention.

 

                     NATALIE (cont’d)

There was another man in my house
a few days ago.  They’re after
something.  I can’t figure it out. 
Nobody can.  Do you have kids?

 

Monk shakes his head.

 

                     NATALIE (cont’d)

I have a daughter.  She’s 13 years
old.  I’m scared.  I don’t say that
very often.  But I’m really scared.

      (beat)

Please. Help me. Help us.

 

Monk considers her.                                             *

 

                              *****

                                                            3/3


NATALIE

SCENE 2 – NEW

8/20/04 1.

 

1                    INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY                                   1

 

Natalie emerges from a classroom.

 

Monk is there in the hallway. He’s cleaning something…
or straightening something.  You know, being Monk.

 

                        NATALIE

            What are you doing?

 

                        MONK

            Well, this picture wasn’t exactly…

 

                        NATALIE

                  (interrupting)

            That doesn’t matter.                          *

                  (excitedly)

            What do you call a guy who studies

            Fish?

 

                              MONK

                  An ichthyologist.

 

                              NATALIE

                  That’s what you are.

 

                              MONK

                  No I’m not.

 

                              NATALIE

                  Yes you are.

 

                              MONK

                  I really don’t think I am.

 

                              NATALIE

Well, for the next five minutes
are.  I need you to tell Julie’s
teacher that a dart-fish can live
for more than two year.

 

She starts to drag Monk toward the classroom.  Monk resists.

 

                        MONK

                  (nervously)

            Natalie.  Here’s the thing.  I can’t
            lie.  I’m not good at it…

 

                        NATALIE

            Are you a man?

 

                                               

(CONTINUED)

                                                              1/5


MONK-CASTING SCENE 3 – 8/20/04   2.

 

 

1                    CONTINUED:

 

                        MONK

            Am I a…?

 

                        NATALIE

            Are you a man?

 

                        MONK

            Yes.

 

                        NATALIE

            Then you can lie. That’s what men

            DO.

 

2     INT.  CLASSROOM – CONTINUOUS                                2

 

      Natalie drags Monk back into the classroom.

 

                              NATALIE

                        (to Mr. Franklin)

Hello again. I thought you might
have some questions, so I went down
to
Berkeley this morning and found
my own expert.  This is Professor
Adrian Monk.

 

Monk manages a nervous, weak smile.

 

                        MONK

            Hello.

 

                        NATALIE

            He’s an ick… icky…

 

Natalie looks at Monk, gesturing: “help me.”

 

                        MONK

            An ichthyologist.

 

                        NATALIE

He’s world renowned.  He wrote a
book about fresh water fish.

 

            MR. FRANKLIN

      (skeptically)

Really? What was it called?

 

            MONK

      (inventing)

Fresh Water Fish.

      (beat)

By Adrian Monk.

 

 

                                    (CONTINUED)   2/5

   MONK-CASTING SCENE 3 – 8/20/04   3.

 

2     CONTINUED:                                                  2

 

                              NATALIE

                  I tried to read it.

(gesturing “it was
over my head”)

Whoosh!

 

Monk- as always- has become distracted.  He’s fidgeting with something on a wall or desk.

 

                        Natalie (cont’d)

            Professor? Professor Monk?

 

Finally Monk snaps out of it.

 

                        MONK

            Sorry.

 

                        NATALIE

(resuming, to
“Professor Monk”)

Mr. Franklin doesn’t think that
Julie’s fish- you know, the one I
showed you- could live longer than a
year or two.

      (prompting Monk)

What do you think?

 

            MONK

I think it can.

 

            MR. FRANKLIN

I don’t see how. It’s a common
variety dart-fish.  It doesn’t have                 *
an immune system or it’s own
exoskeleton.

 

Natalie shoots Monk a look: “invent something!”

 

                        MONK

                  (anxiously)

Well, that’s true about most dart                  *
-fish. But this is a completely
different species.  It’s a North
Korean dart fish.

 

            MR. FRANKLIN

North Korean…?

 

            MONK

It’s a very strong fish. Very tough. 
They’d have to be to live in a
country like that.  They can live
for four or five years.

 

                                    (CONTINUED)   3/5

         MONK-CASTING SCENE 3 – 8/20/04   4.

 

2                    CONTINUED: (2)

 

Natalie gestures: “No! Higher… higher…”

 

                     MONK (cont’d)

(elaborating, as
Natalie gestures)

Or six… or seven… or eight.
Or nine.

      (Natalie nods)

That’s it. Nine years.

 

There’s a COMPUTER on the desk.  Mr. Franklin starts typing.

 

MR. FRANKLIN

I’d like to read that book of yours.
What did you say your name was?

 

            MONK

      (weakly, frightened)

Monk.

 

                     MR. FRANKLIN

               (typing)

         M-O-N-K…

 

Natalie breaks down… and confesses-

 

                     NATALIE (cont’d)

Okay. Okay. The truth is: it’s not
the same fish.  I’ve been replacing
it every year.

 

Mr. Franklin stops typing.

 

                        NATALIE (cont’d)

Julie’s father gave it to her before
he died. I don’t have the heart to
tell her the truth.  It’s all she
has left of him.

 

Natalie reaches for the phone.  She holds up the receiver.  She challenges Mr. Franklin-

 

                        NATALIE (cont’d)

If you want to call that little girl
and tell her the fish she’s been
talking to and praying to every night
has been dead for six years, go ahead. 
I’ll dial it for you.

 

Natalie starts to dial the phone. Franklin sighs. He stops her.

 

 

 

 

                                                (CONTINUED) 4/5


MONK-CASTING SCENE 3 – 8/20/04   5.

 

3                    CONTINUED: (3)                                              2

 

MR. FRANKLIN

I’m sorry. I didn’t know. She can
bring the fish to the science fair.                 *

 

                              NATALIE                                 *

                  Thank you.                                          *

 

                              MR. FRANKLIN                            *

                  But I can’t give her an award.                      *

 

                              NATALIE

She doesn’t need an award. She just
needs to get through junior high
school without falling apart.

      (to Monk)

Come on, Professor.  I’ll drive you home.

 

                  *****

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                               

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

            5/5