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SUBSPACE COMMUNICATIONS - ORDERS FROM
THE DEPARTMENT OF TEMPORAL INVESTIGATIONS
Stardate 9611.226
Captain Jean Luc Picard you are instructed to return to the year 1996 and investigate no fewer than 242 anomalies that have been detected in one small geographical area known as Port Charles, New York. We want you to find the source of these time disruptions. You must be very careful not to become caught up in them. Try to blend in and please no souveniers. We'll expect to see your reports on our desk before you get back.
T 'n' T
DTI Supervisors - Soap Division
Log Entry - Captain Jean Luc Picard - Earth Time November 24th 1996
We have reached Earth and used the preferred sling-shot method to travel back in time. Our orders may be difficult to carry out in this primitive time period. I am sending my officers down to the surface to conduct discreet interviews with the residents of Port Charles. After monitoring the local news coverage we have detected the "hot spots" in town and I will be sending an officer to each. I, myself, will be going to a local eating establishment known as "The Outback".
PART I - The Whirligig of Time
PART II - The Whirligig of Time
While I was on my mission reconnoitering "The Outback", Commander Riker was looking up a local family with a strange record of time anomalies. Later he turned in the following report. Since then I've had to discourage him from putting up a large portrait of one of the subjects in Ten Forward.
First Officer's Log - Commander William T. Riker
My assignment was to track down, The Spencers, a well-known
local family with ties to several of the time anomalies. I finally
found Laura Spencer in the garden of her centrally located house on
the outskirts of town. Her son, Lucky, stood beside her. I
immediately noticed one violation of temporal laws. She was far
too young and attractive to be the mother of a teenager.
.....
I was cleverly disguised as a vacuum cleaner salesman.
"Hello, Madam, I'm with Vortex Vacuum cleaners, and we're
offering a free demonstration today."
.....
Laura stood up and brushed the dirt off her hands. "I don't
know. I don't think we're interested..."
.....
Her son interrupted her. "Hey Mom, It's free and you know what
Foster did to the carpet this morning."
.....
She still looked doubtful. "All right, but I'm not promising
we'll buy anything."
.....
"There's no obligation to buy," I said, giving her my most
dazzling smile. She melted a little and smiled back. She moved
past me and led the way into the house.
.....
I set the vacuum cleaner down in front of the fireplace.
"First I'll have to ask you some basic questions. How long have
you lived in the house?"
.....
"Four years," she said firmly.
.....
"No, Mom," Lucky corrected her, "It's only three."
.....
"Really? It seems longer," Laura mused. "But he could be right."
.....
"Ah, ha. And how many children do you have in the house? And
how old are they?" I asked.
.....
"Well, Lesley-Lu is two years old and Lucky is fourteen," said
Laura.
.....
"Yeah, I was born in 1984," Lucky put in. Neither of them seemed
to notice that there was a discrepancy.
.....
"And do you have any other children?" I asked.
.....
"None that count," said Luke Spencer as he came down the last of
the steps.
.....
Laura had a pained expression. "Luke this is the vacuum cleaner
salesman. He's giving us a free demonstration."
.....
"I'll bet. Nothing's free, baby. He asks an awful lot of
questions for a salesman."
.....
"Only to better serve your needs, Sir," I grinned with just the
right touch of salesman's insincereity.
.....
Luke examined the vacuum cleaner suspicioiusly. "And is this
the miracle wonder machine you're selling? Can it suck up door to
door salesmen?"
.....
"Just the smaller ones," I said, keeping the grin in place.
Laura smothered a smile at my comeback. The sunlight was glinting
off of her golden hair and that was nothing compared to the light
coming from her laughing blue eyes.
.....
My train of thought was broken by a rude comment. "Yo, Vacuum
boy," said Luke, "How's it work?"
.....
"Well, you just turn it on with the big red switch there," I
pointed at it.
.....
Lucky reached for the switch, and Luke blocked his hand. "Not
so fast, Cowboy. This contraption could have been sent over here
by you know who."
.....
"You mean it might be a bomb?" Lucky asked nervously.
.....
"Of course, it's not a bomb," I said impatiently. I reached over
and flipped on the switch. The suction was a little stronger than I
expected and I had to leap over the main piece to grab the other end
before it sucked up the loose knick knacks on the coffee table.
.....
Luke applauded. "So this is the next generation of vacuum
cleaners; not like the classic ones."
.....
"These are guaranteed to last four years longer," I explained.
.....
"Yeah, but we've got hardwood floors," Luke said. Laura smiled
apologetically.
.....
"Good point," I said. Suddenly, I found myself outside the
house. The rest of my time with the Spencer family was now
mysteriously missing. I checked my chronometer. Only two and a
half minutes had elapsed. This was definitely the "commercial break"
phenomenon that I'd been warned about.
PART III - The Whirligig of Time
Our investigations have uncovered further proof of the time anomalies, however we seem to be no closer to discovering the cause. I am hoping that Mr. Data can ascertain the source of the temporal disruptions, when he visits a place called Windemere, which even the residents of Port Charles consider... abnormal.
Lt. Commander Data's Personal Log:
.....
It was a dark night. And even if it had not been the fog that had
accumulated was sufficient to obscure most of the surrounding
landscape. However, these were not unusual weather conditions
for an island in upper New York in the middle of winter.
.....
I was beamed down to Spoon Island, and materialized on a steep
wooden stairway leading up to the main house. I knocked on the
door. I was confident that they would accept my "cover". The
bell was answered by a woman, whom I knew from the reports, was
Alexis Davis, an expert in matters pertaining to Terran law. I
introduced myself. "Hello, I am your cousin, Bob." I extended my
hand in greeting, believing it was too soon to expect a hug. At this
time I experienced the quick time skip, already experienced by
Commander Riker during his expedition. I found myself in the foyer,
walking into the sitting room. My internal timer showed that no time
had elapsed. My companion seemed not to notice anything peculiar.
.....
"If you could just wait here.... uh...Bob. I'll just go get my cousin."
.....
"And which cousin are you referring to? Cousin Nicholas or Cousin
Stefan?"
.....
She stared at me, for some reason not fully accepting my story. "Just
wait here."
.....
While she was gone I took the time to examine some of the artwork and
the dead flower arrangements. I was determining the probable hand that
had painted one of the portraits, when Stefan Cassadine entered the room.
He smiled. "I see you're admiring my Gainesborough. Do you like it?"
.....
I looked at him and then back at the painting. "It is a very nice.... copy."
.....
"Excuse me, but this is an original," Stefan said, apparently offended by
my comment.
.....
"No, it is not. The brush strokes indicate a different artist, and even if
it did not, the paint is not of the composition used in that time period."
.....
Stefan looked more closely at the painting, frowned, and turned back to
me. "Who are you? I have no cousin Bob, that I can recall."
.....
"I am your cousin on your Mother's side," I explained. Since he still did
not seem to believe me, I elaborated. "Your Mother's Father's, Aunt was
my grandmother. She married a young man from outside of Russia. She
was disowned by her family. Since then her line of the family has resided in
Yugoslavia. I, being a keen student of genetic research, explored my family
history and discovered our relationship."
.....
Stefan's eyes had begun to glaze over. "Mother's side of the family?"
.....
"Yes. This places you under no obligation. I simply wished to stop by
and say, hello. Hello, cousin."
.....
He still looked mildly suspicious. "Well, since you're here, why don't
you join us for supper. My wife and I are having a small dinner party."
.....
"I would be delighted." Again there was a small time skip and I found
myself seated at a table in the dining room. Barbara Spencer Cassadine
was examining me, her eyes wide. "I didn't know you had a cousin from
Yugoslavia, Stefan." Her tone was somewhat accusatory as if her
husband had been conspiring to keep this fact from her.
.....
Stefan ignored any implication. "Neither, did I," he said, nervously
swirling the wine in his glass.
.....
Dr. Tom Hardy narrowed his eyes. "So, lots of Cassadines in Yugoslavia,
are there?"
.....
"No, not anymore. I am the last of my family." I told Dr. Hardy.
.....
"Really," Felicia squeaked. "What happened? The war?"
.....
"No. It was a horrendous farming accident. A malfunctioning rice-picker
decapitated the entire clan. I am the only survivor." Suddenly everyone
at the table appeared to lose their appetite.
.....
"Why don't we adjourn to the parlor." Stefan suggested.
.....
"Yeah, I could use a stiff drink," said Felicia.
.....
There was yet another time skip and we were back in the main room.
"Remarkable."
.....
"What?" asked Nicholas. Of course, none of them were aware of
the discrepancy.
.....
"The decor," I improvised, "there are no mirrors."
.....
"Don't worry, I'm sure my new Aunt plans to install them."
.....
We were about to take our seats around the picturesque fireplace
when everyone in the room disappeared. I then heard them in
the dining room. I had the novel experience of actually walking
down a Windermere corridor, instead of time-skipping. I opened
the dining room doors and found the Cassadine clan and their
guests sitting down and beginning the dinner they had just eaten.
Alexis observed me at the doors. "Who are you and what do
you want here?" Amazing, the previous hour had been erased
from their memories. Apparently my interference with the time
stream had been too great and the temporal reality had rejected
me.
.....
"I am the florist. I have just dropped off another shipment of
flowers."
.....
Stefan got up and came towards me. Had he remembered something
of the altered reality? He pulled his wallet out and handed me a
twenty dollar bill. "Thank you, that will be all." I left, quietly closing
the door behind me. The fog had lifted.
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